Imagination

Build it up to watch it fall,

Like it was nothing at all,

Feel my shame

As I shed these tears,

Every time your name

I hear.

Feel the wet tears on my sleeve,

And see my sorrow as I grieve.

A love once strong, ne'er to break,

Only shows all of our mistakes.

How does one know when it is through,

The things we said, were they true,

Were you honest and was I never enough,

I loved you though I should've called your bluff.

The things you said to keep me near,

I held the times you said I love you oh so dear.

So I wonder what was real and what was false,

But now I've discovered that it was all for lost.

Too Good To Be True

I should've taken the clue,
And realized that you were,
Too good to be true.

You showed me your heart,
Written on your sleeve.
The feelings it showed,
Led to this belief.

I thought that you were the one,
I believed your lies, every one,
But deep inside I knew,
That you were too good to be true.

I felt we were the same,
In this world, so complicated,
And now even your name,
Is stuck in my head.

Everything For Christopher

I walked down an empty alley between two brick buildings wondering why the gang had decided to meet tonight. It was raining hard and the fog covered the moon. Why had the they decided to meet tonight? It was my younger brother's birthday, and I felt I should be at home with him.
I'd been in the gang for two weeks now. Since I'd joined them, they only found people that had ventured too far from the populated areas of New York and took whatever valuables they had with them. Tonight we were going to break into a store.
It had been after 11 o'clock that night when I tucked my little brother in and left him to sleep. I was doing this for him. He deserved a better life than I had. When I got to the place where we normally met, I saw that I was the last to arrive.
"Did you have to tuck the little boy in, Jeff? Is that what kept you?" One of the older members of the gang said scornfully.
"Shut up and get ready. We don't have time for this." The leader said in a loud whisper. "Jeff, I want you to go in with Freddie. Get all of the DVD players and other expensive stuff. Nothing too big though. We don't have enough space for too many more TVs."
I just nodded at the instructions and glanced at Freddie. He'd been in the group for about a year and was a trusted gang member.
After tripping the lock, we went into the store. I thought of my brother. He was only eight years old and was already educated in the way of life for a gang member. I was doing this for him. Everything was for Christopher.
On our way out of the store, I heard two gunshots. My heart started to race as I looked at Freddie. His hand was on his gun and he was ready to shoot. We crept to the door quietly with our guns drawn. Our leader popped his head around the corner and gave us a hard look. "Put your guns away, we took care of it."
I breathed a sigh of relief and carried the stuff out of the door and handed it to the guy loading the van. When I got outside, I turned to see a small body on the ground by a trash dumpster. I began to turn away when I saw a blue blanket draped from the boy's hand.
I dropped to my knees and crawled to his body. He was clutching the same blanket that I'd used as a child. I rolled his small body over and looked into his grimacing face. "Christopher! No, not Christopher!" I said as tears ran from my eyes.
Christopher's eyes fluttered open and he looked into my eyes. "I followed you. I want to be just like you, Jeff." Christopher said as he gasped for breath.
"No, you don't Christopher. You don't want to be anything like me. You are great just the way you are." I said as I gathered Christopher into my arms. He blood was wet on his pajamas.
I watched as life left my baby brother's eyes. He looked so innocent, just like he had earlier when I tucked him in bed.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw Freddie and Gene loading the van. I heard the sirens from the police cars in the distance. The gang jumped into the van and drove away. They left me there with Christopher.
As I sat there listening to the police cars drive up, I cried for Christopher. I'd given everything for Christopher. I knew that from now on I would get a job and do right by tiny Christopher. I would never again be a part of anything having to do with gangs or break-ins.

Monster I'd Become

The empty highway loomed before me. It was dark and I could only see what was directly in front of my headlights. Occasionally a car would pass going the opposite direction, but they were few and far between.
I was driving home from a friend’s house. My mother had cautioned me to leave before it got dark and started to rain, but I didn’t listen to her.
It wasn’t raining very hard, I could still see the road as clear as I would’ve been able to if it weren’t raining.
I saw a car getting ready to go by me, so I turned my headlights on dim. As the car drove by, I glanced at my hands in the light from their headlights.
I felt my face pale as I saw my hands. The skin was pale, wrinkled, and veined. My hands resembled my grandmother’s more than my own.
“Oh my gosh” I said aloud to myself. Why did my hands look like I was in my 70’s? I’m only 17. I thought these things to myself. I knew that there was a parking lot coming up soon, so I turned my lights back on bright and drove faster.
I felt silly for being so frightened, but it had looked so real. I almost didn’t turn in, thinking it had just been something from the way the light was on my hands. When I got to the parking lot, I stopped the car and looked down at my hands again. They still looked old and wrinkled. What was wrong with me? Does my face look like this too?
My hands were shaking as I turned on the overhead light to open the mirror on my sun visor. When I looked in the mirror, my eyes looked the same, but my skin was wrinkled and sagging.
I was so scared that I started to cry. Something was wrong with me, and I didn’t know what it was.
I drove myself out of the parking lot, fighting off the tears. My body ached and my hands were getting open sores on them. It hurt so bad that I had to pull over. I thought that I was going to die.
I thought about my family and how badly I treated them. I thought about how spiteful I’d been when things didn’t go my way. Anguish wasted over me as I thought about how horrible I’d become. I had a couple close friends, but no one else wanted to spend time with me.
I thought about God. I hadn’t been very faithful to church, or to my personal relationship with Christ. My life had taken a turn for the bad.
I looked in the mirror again and saw the monster I’d become. I knew that some things had to change in my life. I knew that I had to start treating people better, I knew that I had to get over myself, but most of all, I knew that I had to get back to God.
I prayed for thirty minutes in my car. I begged for forgiveness and asked for help.
The pain stopped almost immediately. I was filled with wonder and looked into the mirror. Already things were changing back to normal. The sores were gone and my face was looking more like me.
I made a vow then to never stray from Him again.